Black Sheep

Black Sheep Black Sheep by dreamel. Love how the black sheep is dancing with a hat cane! If he had fingers, hed so have jazz hands right now. Lindsay Christensen is a rockin interior designer who I met through Blogging Your Way, the awesome blogging e-course that Holly Becker of decor8 led earlier this year. It turned out that I was the lone life coach in a sea of designers crafters, I loved every minute of it. Lindsay I have been reading each others blogs tweeting ever since, I was thrilled when she offered to contribute as a guest blogger! Like some of my other guest bloggers these past two weeks, Lindsay wrote about the   scenic, sometimes rocky road that was her journey to finding her passionate, creative career. Isnt it amazing how we have so many similar stories, yet theyre all so different? Get the tissues ready! Coming from a small town, I always just assumed I would do something practical or science related. I wasnt interested in business or English, but I was a good science student. So I had a foolproof plan; go to college, major in something science related (psychology, exercise science, marine biology?) and get a steady and secure job after you graduate in 4 years. Right? I thought Id figure it out along the way. I didnt know what I wanted to do right out of high school, so when I enrolled at UC Santa Barbara, I was undeclared in Biological Sciences. Chemistry, organic chemistry, calculus, psychology, social psychology, French, art historyall the fun (and not so fun) lower division requirements, blah blah blah. I did really love my art history class, but I didnt even consider it as a major at the time. Come on, you cant major in art! You cant be successful that way! Right? After two years I was burnt out and still confused as ever, so I decided to take a break. A break that tu rned into a five year break. But I wasnt doing diddly-squat during my break I was out there in the world, living back in my home town, taking a class or two here or there, working, researching, trying to find my niche, and I also started dating my future husband and we got marriedand that leads me here In August 2006 I had a great job. Well, it was great for someone without a Bachelors Degree, which I did not have at the time (but was still a goal of mine that I was not going to give up). Great for someone my age (25) who had no children, which I did not have at the time. Great pay for where I lived, meaning that my husband and I could live comfortably with my half of our salary, we had better-than-decent benefits, and it was going to go nowhere but up. I had a great boss and great co-workers. My employer even helped pay for my classes. See, I worked at the local county Public Health Department back then. But that was the month that I quit to go to Interior Design school. I started working there three years earlier in 2003 as the Office Specialist (aka receptionist), and after working there for two years, I was promoted to a better job within the department. I could have stayed but it was always a personal goal of mine to finish school with at least a Bachelors Degree, so I knew I wasnt going to be there forever. It wasnt enough for me, and so I wasnt happy there. That is something that I figured out while out in the real world; that is not my personality and I wont stay where Im not happy. With some encouragement from my boss, and after seeing what a great place it was to work, we decided that I would go to nursing school to be a Public Health Nurse. Notice that I said we my husband and boss were fully on board here. A nurse is a very respectable, practical, rewarding and high-paying job, right? I still didnt know exactly what I wanted to be, but I had most of the pre-requisites already done (between UCSB and the other 20 colleges I attended in person and online, as my previous goals in school were to be a dental hygienist, diagnostic medical sonographer, ultrasound techall of which just never worked out. Do you see a pattern here?) so I finished the last few classes I needed and applied to the nursing school that I wanted to go to. I always just thought it would work itself out. I was married at this time (still am, I make it sound like Im not anymore!), and my husband didnt want to quit his job and move so I needed to stay close to home for school. He didnt really see why I needed to quit and go back to school in the first place, seeing as I had a perfectly good job, but he was 100% for me to go to nursing school. But thats a whole other story. We planned to live apart during the week, and then see each other on weekends while I was in school. Two years max. Wed also visit whenever possible and see each other on school breaks, etc. so we knew it wouldnt be so bad and it would fly by. We live right on the northern border of California, so the closest nursing school was in Oregon, which was fine because I was able to get a good neighbor discount on tuition. Anyway, I applied to the Bachelors program for this one site and was wait-listed. I looked at that positively; I had good grades, I was sure I was close to the top of the list. I also looked into other schools in the meantime, but no spots came available for me after the deadline had passed (its nursing school, hello!!). No biggie, I thought, Ill just keep working and try again next semester at a few places. During this waiting time, I grew even more antsy to complete my goals. I didnt want to be where I was anymore, and I just wanted to get school over with, so I think that the anticipation of working towards a goal, taking classes, and keeping busy kept me interested at the time, but that was getting old. I was starting to realize that I needed something different. I was constantly researching and looking for other career paths that I might be able to take, because I was just not one of those people that can push through during the day and cash in a paycheck with a smile on my face. Dont get me wrong, I loved my coworkers, but the job itself was simply not fulfilling to me, and I realized that I just couldnt do that for the next 35 years. Some people can, but I realized very quickly that I wasnt one of them. I dreaded getting up every day, going to work, spending all day there, and then doing the same old thing the next day after day at a job I didnt love. Boring. There were ot her parts of the job that I didnt enjoy, but I wont go into that. Ill just say that I was ready to get out and move on. It was a great job, just not for me at the time. So I applied to more nursing schools, and I was waitlisted again. The deadline passed and I, again, did not get into nursing school (it is SO competitive not only is there a shortage of nurses, but also nursing instructors so spots are hard to come by). A year of waiting had passed, and I was ready to try something else. After waiting for what felt like eons, I realized that I really wasnt that disappointed about not getting into nursing school. I was actually very, very nervous about going; the thought of the practical part really worried me. I still think about scary situations that happened when I was a 15 year old lifeguard! How could I ever move on if I made a mistake, or if something horrible happened to a patient on my watch? I dont think I could ever get over that! And after working at various jobs in various settings over that five year break, I also realized that I wanted more freedom, more creativity, and more variety in my career. I wanted to be my own boss, take off when I wanted to and be in control of what my days consist of. Plus I wanted to enjoy what I did for a living. But how could I do this and survive, while living in a small town? Is it possible? That scared me almost as much as the thought of accidentally killing someone in nursing school! I was so torncould I actual ly do this? And what would my husband and boss think? It was quite a change and I put so much time and energy into this goal. I found myself secretly checking out online programs in other, creative fields that I really didnt know much about; graphic design, interior design, photography, wedding planning, real estate staging, even those career certificate schools that you see commercials for on TV. But I never seemed to find the right combination or program (have you seen how expensive online programs are?!?!). So I just went for it and applied to the Interior Design Program at California State University, Chico without telling anyone. Not even my husband. And it felt great. It felt right. And the more I looked into the coursework and what an Interior Designer does, it felt better. But how was I going to break the news to them? I dont remember exactly how it all happened, but everyone around me knew that something was up. To be honest, my marriage was strained at the time, and when something is going on in my personal life I had a hard time focusing on other things, like work. We fought a lot and w e had issues that we needed to work out. I needed a change but he didnt understand, and this was going to be the last straw. I just remember one night, in tears after an argument, I said to my husband I dont want to go to nursing school. I want to be a designer! Wait what?? It wasnt pretty after all I was changing my mind AGAIN. Im sure he didnt believe me, but I believed in myself so we just let it go. And then I broke the news to my boss. I told her that I applied to a program, I was accepted and I was starting in the fall. I think she understood that I needed a change, both personally and professionally. Everyone else found out I was leaving and assumed it was to go to nursing school. I didnt try to correct them because I thought they would all think I was crazy! Eventually they all found out what I was up to and I was gone, and from the very Intro to Interior Design class, I knew this was for me! Its a lot of art and creativity, but also a lot of hard work, math, science, construction, engineering, communications, psychology, business, advertising, computer science, graphic design and life. I enjoyed everything that I learned, especially from my invaluable internship, and every single class has been worth its weight in gold to me. The funny thing was, Interior Design was the black sheep of the art department, but it didnt fit in anywhere else, either. And I feel like that sums it up; that is me. I wasnt sure where I fit in, I had a million different interests, and others couldnt see my intentions, but now I know what I want to do and am in control of what I do for the rest of my life and of my happiness. It all just seems to work out like its supposed to. Ive also met some great people, made some really great friends, learned a lot fr om a lot of different, talented people and love this new community that I am a part ofin person and online with blogging (like my fellow BYWers like Michelle!)! And just to let you know, my husband and I worked everything out being apart actually really helped us get over our little hangups and we are ridiculously in love again, and more than ever. ?? I FINALLY graduated at the age of 27, and while 5 months pregnant with our daughter. We didnt want to waste any time, you know? I also get to stay home with her while I write this and I couldnt ask for more. Blame any typos on her because shes on my lap and trying to help me write this! ?? Its definitely a slower start working for yourself, and the pay isnt the same (yet!), but Im confident that it will all be working out exactly like I want it to be someday, because it really is all up to me. And the fact that I love what I do is worth more than any amount of money ever could. I really believe that giving someone a beautiful space can change lives and bring you happiness just as much (but in a different way) as nursing them back to health can. Thank you so much for reading, and again, thank you Michelle for giving me the chance to tell my story and maybe inspire a few others who are unsure of taking the leap to the creative side. Be honest with yourself and do it for you, no one else.